Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Shock and AWEsome

My people.

My home skillets and cheese slices.

My loves.

Happy Tuesday to you.

What shall we discuss today?

Jalapeno's? Weight loss? Ports? Lesbians? Diet Sunkist? All of the above? Oh if you could only vote!

First, yesterday brought me into the 170's. 179.5 to be exact. I am striving to keep it moving down and not up. This week is the Shock and Awe workout program. This is not an official program, one that I just made up. You won't be finding it on the shelf at Walmart. Here is what mama is doing:

Monday: Circuit workout. Only upper body. Constant weights for 45 minutes.
Tuesday: Circuit workout. Only lower body and abs. Tonight I will also be doing a new fitness class called Hot Body Kickboxing. I am terrified.
Wednesday: Zumba
Thursday: Circuit workout. Total body.

My body is still sore from skiing, and let me tell you...doing total upper body for 45 minutes with pretty heavy weights did not make it any better! But I figure next week at my parents boat I won't be working out too much, so I better pack it in while I can!

Last night for upper body Heather had me do dead hangs from the pullup bar. You just hang. For 30 seconds. I actually was able to do it. This is good because whenever I watch action movies, and the hero is hanging from something like a steel girder or building...that is the point when I know I would be dead. No hanging for Amy. But apparently I can hang for at least 30 seconds. After that I am screwed.

On to jalapenos. I dont know how you people eat those suckers. I had my first experience with cooking and the Hot J's the other night. I wasnt going to eat them, but the audience I was cooking for enjoys spicy stuff so I cut one open, seeded it, sniffed it, and diced it. I then proceeded to dice up some strawberries. About 10 minutes later I popped a strawberry in my mouth and couldnt figure out why my lips were on fire. YEAH! No one told me to wash my hands AFTER you handle a damn jalapeno! And then I forgot and "itched my nose" (read: picked) and the inside of my NOSE WAS ON FIRE! I couldnt get the burning to stop. First I tried to stick an ice cube up my nose. That didnt work.

And then it hit me. I remembered an episode of MythBusters where they said that milk was the best thing to relieve the burning. So I considered snorting the milk. Instead, I poured a bowl of milk and stuck my damn face right into it. It was real pretty I am sure.

You will be glad to know that it didn't work! And also, just so you know, DONT put the jalapeno remains in the garbage disposal either!

Mmmmkkkkay. Well would you look at the time?! Guess we will have to talk about being a lesbian and diet sunkist another day!

Until then....



  1. STOP IT. Teasing is no fair. Sorry about the jalapeno fiasco.

  2. leaving us hanging... congrats on the 170s!

  3. Holding our breath....waiting for your next post! Don't make us wait too long!!!

  4. Ugh, can't wait for the next post! Oh, and btw, you are mean for teasing... <3

  5. Hahahaha...jalapenos. God bless 'em. I had that very same experience. My fingers burned, so I washed and washed and washed them. HOURS later, the burn mostly gone, I removed my contacts before bed. This is not hyperbole - I have never been in so much pain in my ENTIRE LIFE. I thought I was permanently blinded, I could NOT open my eyes.

    Needless to say, I won't go near one without vinyl gloves.

    Congrats on the 170! Your workout routine sounds amazing!

  6. Ohhh I love jalapenos...especially the cheese stuffed one's!

    Congrats on the 70's baby!

    Keep on rocking!

  7. You are kickin ass at exercising. I wish I was that motivated and ouchy to the jalapeno fiasco, I bet that burned like a mutha!

  8. Oh, goodness.... just picturing the ice cube up the nose... that had to hurt, but maybe not as much as the jalepeno! can't wait for the next post...

  9. I will never forget the time my husband diced jalepenos for dinner and we wound up getting frisky (forsaking the dinner). Needless to say, remnats of jalepenos/juice made it to my nether regions. Take my word for it, jalepenos on the whootanany is an interesting experience. I felt like my cootchie was on fire!

  10. I wear gloves now when I cut up jalapenos! I made the mistake once of cutting up jalpaneo's and a few hours later went to go put my contacts in. I'm sure you probably heard me screaming all the way in FL. I had even washed my hands a couple times and showered in between that time. It took me a good 3 days to even get up the courage to attempt to put my contacts in again.

    Miss your face! xoxoxo

  11. I was making salsa one day and after I had diced the jalapeno AND washed my hands I scratched my eyes, holy crap, I can't begin to tell you how much it burned. So now whenever I handle jalapenos I wash my hands multiple times and then I have to really think about not rubbing my nose or eyes!

  12. I love you! That's all. You make my day. I want to carry you around in my purse.

  13. I seriously just snorted with laughter when I thought of you sticking your face in a bowl of milk. You are hilarious!

  14. I once managed to snort a chilli seed up my nose (don't ask - but also don't laugh while eating chillies) - was stuck there burning for 30 minutes - arrrgghghh! Looking forward to the next post (not so interested in the sunkist...).

  15. seriously? seriously? you are going to leave me -- your favorite lesbian in blogland -- hanging?????? just FYI...i am in Tampa right now. have rental car. can be at your place before dark, baby girl...


  16. Amy you are hilarious....and Shrinking Mommy you are passing through my neck of the woods, be safe.

  17. Amy - we are going to have to work on your inner Texan. Girl you can master them jalepenos you just need to Cowgirl Up!

  18. LMAO AT THE JALAPENOS....Ill bet you did snort some milk...LOLOL.

  19. I can't stop laughing about Stef's fiery hot sex life... Too much. I mean, people are paying alot of money for that warm sensations goo... and Stef just gets stuffs a pepper up her ChaCha. Great... now I'm craving stuffed peppers. *Maria*-Blogger from "This one time at Band Camp..." mybigfatbandgeeklife.blogspot.com

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