Sometimes it is not all sunshine and kittens in my life. Although, when it is bad...it's not that bad. Instead of sunshine and kittens it's partly cloudy skies and middle aged cats.
I took an early lunch to run to Target. The pants I am wearing right now are size 18 black dress slacks, from Target...OKAY? They are better than my too biggie Lane Bryant slacks, but still they are too big. So I go and try on the size 16 slacks at Target. Oh they go up. They zip. They make my thighs look like thunderous pieces of ham.
WHY THIGHS!!! WHY!?
So then I look in the mirror and I start to have thigh pity party. They look the same as when I weighed 327. I contemplate for a brief second sitting down on the bench and crying. Instead I try on a pretty cute swimsuit that I didn't by bc I need to save my money for slacks! CRAP.
So I walk around Target...dejected. Searching aimlessly for something to buy that would make me fill better. Nothing. And so I shuffled out to my car, with my head hanging low. Seriously, I was hanging my head and staring at the ground! I never do that. I am a head held high kinda girl.
So I had to have a come to Jesus impromptu conference with myself.
"Self," I say. "Get your shit together. Yesterday you were on a weight loss high and now you are pouting? Really Workman? You are a size 16 (well not at Target but screw them). Last year those pants wouldnt have made it past your calves. You will NOT get depressed because of one store and one pant. You must be thankful. And you must soldier on."
Sigh-
So I am working on it. I am thankful. I am thankful that I am 207. I am thankful that my thighs, however disproportionately big, belong to legs that work and a body that is healthier than it has ever been. I am thankful that this size is a mile marker and not a stopping point. I am thankful my other pants are too big.
Amen.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
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yay size 16
ReplyDeleteim envious
lol
:)
Nice pep talk sweetie! I do the same thing all the time. Except now I know that I am not stuck at this size for the rest of my life, that it is going to keep going down. Amazing and you are right screw Target (well just for today cause they are fab) Hold you head high, you are amazing and your thighs are not that big.
ReplyDeleteI HATE when that happens! Old Navy is my arch nemesis right now. I attempt to pull up the size 20 jeans and they won't go over my ginormous thighs, but yet I can fit into other size 20 pants from many different companies!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you had your little conference and that you have realized that the things you are thankful for totally out number the things you are not thankful for! <3
Time to get out your before pics and the measuring tape, my friend! There is no way that your thighs are not slender shadows of their former selves with all of the weight you have lost! Honestly, you look fantastic and shame on Target for using some weirdly chicken-legged fit model for those pants!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteIt's not your thighs, it's TARGET. Their sizes are crazy small. At Old Navy I fit in 20's at Target - um..yeah..maybe a 24 on a good day.
ReplyDeleteSoldier on! I think that needs to become my new 2010 mantra! you are inspiring even if you are having a bad day. BTW, Target's stuff is all sized small so i truly believe their sizing doesn't "count." I think you should go somewhere else for those pants and you'll find something fab and feel fab about yourself. back to that weight loss high!
ReplyDeleteI just did a post on your post btw! Check it out here... http://gettingbacktoskinnymini.blogspot.com/2010/01/soldier-on.html
ReplyDeleteScrew that one pair of pants. There are plenty other pants out there in the world that will fit you great and make you feel like a million bucks.
ReplyDeleteWaaaaay back when Abercrombie wasn't evil and I was at my thinnest (like 1999), I used to go there and try jeans on because it ALWAYS put a smile on my face. Their sizes were so screwy and while I was in a 14 or 16 everywhere else, I could fit into their 10s and one day, even an 8. A freaking 8. So after trying on pants and crying in the American Eagle dressing room, there was always Abercrombie to bring a smile to my face.
I have grown to hate that store nowadays for a plethora of reasons. Their 8s are now real 8s and I long since grew out of their largest size offering, but I digress.
Keep your chin up, you'll find some jeans that make your thighs look hot!
I was just having this same thought the other day how I feel like I don't notice a difference AT ALL between my legs now and at 305 pounds. I feel like they are still fat little snausages. Isn't it sad how quickly we can beat ourselves up?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Catherine about whipping out your old photos and you'll be amazed at the difference.
We do love you for your sunny outlook, but even the most spirited people at times get down so don't worry sweetie and keep that head up (insert Tu-Pac "keep your head up" here).
xoxo
oh your so very welcome
ReplyDeletethis dvd is a must have if you like jumping around and kickbox kinda moves
Damn Target!!! Don't they know when we do and do not need some reassurance and some love from the skinny pants gods??
ReplyDeleteGirl, you are a rockstar "Loser" so don't be blue!!
Amen bandsister!!
ReplyDeleteTarget sucks - Amy rocks - 'Nuf said!
ReplyDeleteSucks that the pants did not fit, right in the right places, but come on a 16 went up and zipped. That deserves a "Atta Girl". Keep up the good work. You can do this.
ReplyDeleteAnd look you made it through this without reaching for the sunkist...Woohoo!!!
Target always runs small....they suck, you are awesome!
ReplyDeleteTarget definitely runs small. I don't know who they think they're selling to...
ReplyDeletechin up ~ press on towards the prize!! You have done FANTASTIC and those stupid Target pants were not sewn correctly and therefore look like and are crap!! It's not you Workman it's the sewers of the britches those b!@#$ches ~ oops did I just go there?! ;-)
ReplyDeleteAmen girl! I have been known to throw a pity party of two. Great job on making your goal of 120! 207, you are almost in onderland!
ReplyDeleteoh sorry to hear about your discouraging shopping trip!! I swear Try Kohl's apartment 9 the Ava and Maxwell pants are great! xoxo
ReplyDeleteyou make me giggle middle age cats
http://betterbanded.blogspot.com/
Yeah, what they said!
ReplyDeleteAwww, you're doing really good Amy! Don't sweat the small stuff! You know you're a size 16, it's these dumb stores/brands that can't get their act together and decide what size should be what. It big time depresses me when I go into a store and I know that I pretty consistently wear a size 22/24 right now, and I'm having to try on everything from a sz 26/28-18/20 because the sizes are so weird!
ReplyDeleteGreat pep talk but let me add to it! I agree with what all these ladies have said. Your thighs ARE definitely smaller. They fit..just not to your liking...YET. You have come an amazing distance in the past year. You have lost by leaps and bounds, have worked hard and persevered and those pants at Target are obviously defective! Cheer up!
ReplyDeleteAmes~ Screw Target. Their clothes are too expensive not to fit to size. I've always had a problem with them. You are beautiful and have accomplished something many people only dream of. So screw Target and their stupid ass pants and look at your body in the mirror and say to yourseld "Look at that hottness"
ReplyDeleteLove ya
Screw you Target!!! Amy's better than you! :)
ReplyDeleteYou so silly and at least you didn't say middle aged pussies..hey, we're among friends here, I can say that! :) I'll put a hex on Target for you. I've got a wish coming up on Saturday...I could use it for evil instead of good! :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteI got mad at my scale today because it told me I was the same weight as yesterday. I scooted it around the floor and kept getting different readings, never the same twice. I finally got reminded that my ass needed to get in the shower and stop wasting water with it running while I obsessed. I blamed the scale. Yes, yes I did.
ReplyDeleteSo one day you'll fit into Target's size 16s (and smaller). This is your constant scooting because, hell... sometimes things are different from every different angle.
But from your personal perspective? That's where you're right on target. Ain't no one gonna scoot Sunkist Amy 'round. ;)
And I happen to like middle aged cats. Kittens are overrated. At least with a grown cat, you know exactly what you're getting yourself into.
AMEN!! And tell Target to go screw itself. Don't let it beat you down, Ames. You're beautiful and skinnier than ever before. No matter where you go, (clothes wise) there will always be something that will surprise you - it might be the small piece of clothing you though wouldn't fit and does and vice versa. You just got caught this time. Chin up babes!!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was not actually the pants - it was the mirrors! Target has the World's Worst Dressing Room Mirrors! Seriously, I once wrote a post about it. I now know better than to step into a Target dressing room! It is a recipe for disaster!
ReplyDeleteYou fit into the Gap size 16s right? That is way better than Target anyway!
You look great, screw the evil Target mirrors (and sizes).
Target pants run small - I don't try there anymore. I'm with you on needing pants, I'm down to 2 pair that are still passable. Old navy has their khakis on for $17 this week. I'm hoping a lovely pair of 16's will fit me there. You should check it out too.
ReplyDeleteWe all feel like that sometimes - there are always days when you fail to see how far you have come. But you have come a long way - we all have :-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes Target Sucks!!! My mood seems to go with what clothes I can wear as well. I know what you mean when you get in a certain size you're on a high and then just one pair of pants can shoot it down. Keep your head up, Target does run small.
ReplyDeletei say we boycott target.
ReplyDeletewhat about short skirts? you once posted a pic and you looked like a size 8 (like i know what that looks like). you may be a hide-your-thighs-in a skirt girl right now.
Way to be Workman! You will get through it! Just a funk!
ReplyDelete