Sometimes it is not all sunshine and kittens in my life. Although, when it is bad...it's not that bad. Instead of sunshine and kittens it's partly cloudy skies and middle aged cats.
I took an early lunch to run to Target. The pants I am wearing right now are size 18 black dress slacks, from Target...OKAY? They are better than my too biggie Lane Bryant slacks, but still they are too big. So I go and try on the size 16 slacks at Target. Oh they go up. They zip. They make my thighs look like thunderous pieces of ham.
WHY THIGHS!!! WHY!?
So then I look in the mirror and I start to have thigh pity party. They look the same as when I weighed 327. I contemplate for a brief second sitting down on the bench and crying. Instead I try on a pretty cute swimsuit that I didn't by bc I need to save my money for slacks! CRAP.
So I walk around Target...dejected. Searching aimlessly for something to buy that would make me fill better. Nothing. And so I shuffled out to my car, with my head hanging low. Seriously, I was hanging my head and staring at the ground! I never do that. I am a head held high kinda girl.
So I had to have a come to Jesus impromptu conference with myself.
"Self," I say. "Get your shit together. Yesterday you were on a weight loss high and now you are pouting? Really Workman? You are a size 16 (well not at Target but screw them). Last year those pants wouldnt have made it past your calves. You will NOT get depressed because of one store and one pant. You must be thankful. And you must soldier on."
So I am working on it. I am thankful. I am thankful that I am 207. I am thankful that my thighs, however disproportionately big, belong to legs that work and a body that is healthier than it has ever been. I am thankful that this size is a mile marker and not a stopping point. I am thankful my other pants are too big.