Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Wedding Dresses And Lace Up Corsets

While many of us connect on Facebook, I realize there may be those of you who like to silently observe my life happenings (those I make up and those that are based loosely on facts) from afar and have yet to friend request me for fear of having to type "You don't know me but I am not a stalker" on a PM via Facebook to get me to accept your friend request.  First, do not worry.  I prefer the term "admirer" over "stalker" and I would really only grow concerned  if you said, "Don't worry, I am not a stalker but I do sort through the trash container outside of your house and collect items to make a life-sized replica of you in my basement."  I mean...that might be a bit much.

Because let's be honest.  A life-sized trashmeal replica of Amy should never be kept in the basement.

But I digress.

Back to the original point I was trying to make.

I just wanted to keep ALL of you in the loop.

As some of you may recall, on May 22, 2013 Heather proposed to me.  It was precious.  We have been in a holding pattern though since then, as we were waiting for "gay marriage" (in quotation marks because really it's just MARRIAGE for all right-minded consenting, tax paying adults) to become legal in Florida.  Heather had long insisted it has to be legal in the state we live in otherwise we are just playing make-believe and Heather does not enjoy playing make-believe.  Trust me.  Sometimes I try to get her to wear her "military panties", which are really little green silky shorts she had to wear in the Marines.  I can't tell you how many times I have implored her to put them on so we could play "Bootcamp".  I mean...she would be the angry drill instructor in her military panties and I would be the bad bad new bootcampie person.  But NOOOOO.

I would go on.  But my father is probably reading this

So, on January 6th, it became legal.  We had to pick a date.  Now down here in Pensacola, Florida, it's basically hotter than Satan's fannypack 10 months out of the year.  So I wanted maybe a November or December wedding.  But those dates were booked for the venue we wanted so we are getting married on 1.16.16.

Book your tickets now dudes.

But yesterday was the big wedding dress shopping extravaganza!

While I will not reveal the dress I believe to be "the one"...I will show you some contenders.

But before I get to that...have you ever wore a corset?  Seriously?  I have not. But holy nuts...they can do amazing things.

I didn't know exactly what style of dress I wanted but I was 99% sure I didn't want strapless because I was afraid of boob/armpit "spillage and boob/armpit stretch mark showing.  And I didn't want a big ballgown ala Cinderella and I didn't want a mermaid (I know...it's painful to type that) or trumpet style.  I was envisioning something flowy.  Something quirky.  Sometime delicate.  Delicate.  Like me.

It turns out with my budget, I am kinda limited to the sales rack.  But I ain't above that.  And there were some good dresses on the sales rack.

This was a contender.  I likey the butt.  And Heather wants to see my back.
 It's a little tight on the hips.  Just like pretty much all of them.  So that's why it's bunching.  That would be fixed of course. And YES.  I realize this is a strapless trumpet style.
This next one I really loved because of the tank top, the lace, and the keyhole back.  But it had a weird seam that cut my hips wrong. You can see it better from the back shot.

And I also really liked this one...

But the one I really loved I will not be showing.  It IS strapless.  It IS a corset inside.  It makes my waist and butt look banging and it has a ton of ruffles.  Who would have thought?  Oh, it's also double my damn budget of what I wanted to spend.  But I will only be a bride once right?  Or at least I will only be Heather's bride once right?  Juuuust kidding.  My love is forever.  And if not, I am moving to Maine with all of my fur children, never dating again, and just going to entertain lonely fishermen and women when I have skin hunger.

It's always good to have a back up plan.

We ended up going to a place called the Bridal Suite.  And this wonderful pixie like woman named Maureen took care of me.  She made me feel pretty, she worked with my budget, and she was super sweet.  We were SUPPOSED to go to David's Bridal but we walked out.  Seriously.  Let's not relive that moment and spoil this beautiful one okay?

So I will try not to bore you over the next 10 months with wedding deets...but I do want to keep you updated.

How else will you make my wedding dress of my used Q-tips and discarded cottonballs that you find in my trash?



  1. OMG, you will gorgeous in anything you pick!! LOVE your styles above! OH and I had a horrible experience at David's as well which was a bummer b/c I had thought I had found my dream dress there. AND the corset?? the best thing ever, i even made sure the lady who worked at the bridal salon could come help me get dressed the day of the wedding b/c my mom could not get that damn corset tight enough for my liking! oh and talk weddings all you want. I got married so long ago, I love reliving through others! xo

  2. The one with the keyhole back would have been absolutely stunning without that silly seam! You are going to make a beautiful bride, chica. I look forward to hearing all the details!!

  3. Congrats! I can't want to see photos.

  4. I love the first and last ones! You are one gorgeous bride already!

  5. Pretty girl. I'm so happy for you two and let's take those quotation marks off of marriage. You will just be married, no quotation marks. Just like everyone else who marries the person that they love. Keep the wedding details and photos coming.

  6. I fully found my dream dress in a shop took a picture of the tag, searched the net for closing down bridal shops and found my dream dress HALF PRICE! Amazeballs. You look stunning in all of them! Love!

  7. glad you found the dress.... im sure it will look amazing on you. My cousin and her gf just got married in Pensacola last weekend... im so happy for them and im sure you will be just a happy. We were FB friends, but me thinky our difference of political view got in the way... Would love to be FB friends again... :-)

  8. I had my gay wedding on a budget. Check out goodwill online. I bought mine from them for 16$. That's right. Sixteen. I think I paid more for the shipping than I did the dress. It was also brand new and beautiful. Just like those and you! Also here is my handy dandy tip o' the day: you can totally wash a wedding dress in the washing machine, as long as it's not real silk. Don't pay for dry cleaning after.

  9. I am also going to take on rent such a beautiful wedding dress. We have booked a nice wedding location venue and then I am going to book now reputed catering service which can serve best quality food. Any idea from where I can get catering services?

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