Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Disc Golf: A Trumped Up Drinking Sport

I honestly don't know what I am doing in this picture.  I am either preparing to rub Beau's hipbone, or I'm doing the locomotion.  I believe we were supposed to be some rendition of that famous Beatles picture...but if that's the case...this shit is a disaster.

Usually we disc golf with just a few other people, but on Sunday we decided to play with 1.4 million of our closest friends.  Todd (toddrick) and Bethany (PowPow) are on the left, followed by Heather of course and her coworker Niki and her manfriend Zac, then good old Beau, me, Eli, Rachel, and her husband Jonathan (Jon Jon).  It was a beautiful Florida panhandle Sunday, as evidence by my shorts and flip flops.

Disc golf takes some skill, and really...only Heather possesses it.  The discs are just like golf clubs...they have different weights, they do different things, they fly different ways...but that's only if you know how to throw them to begin for the majority of us, we just toss those suckers in the wind and hope some tiny disc golf cherub in the sky guides it towards the basket.

We play teams, so that pretty much means that Heather, and whomever is on her team, is destined to win.  But my team DID give them a run for their money...but then 2 out of 3 of us got slightly drunk and didn't know our ass from a hole in the ground.

Good times.

Good times.

This is one of my boyfriends...Eli.
He is actually Rachel's 4 year old, but we have a love-hate relationship, minus the hate.  But I do whisper things to him from time to when he is punching me in my ass I whisper "keep on little man...because when I punch you in YOUR ain't gonna like it."

That usually just makes him giggle more.  He doubts my power.  Sometimes I like to pick him up by his head...which is totally safe because I saw it in a movie.  Rachel doesn't like it though.  So I do it more just for good measure.

I know what you are thinking.  I should have children because clearly I would make a wonderful parent.

Well, Heather and I had a brief conversation about birthing humans and we decided that someday we will have a boat instead.

The end.  And besides...we are selfish.  I like shoes, races, Target underwear, and beer. more thing.  It should be known that children are drawn to me.  Even if I give them dirty looks and try to avoid eye contact.  I was eating at Moe's yesterday (HEY, WELCOME TO MOE's....I realize that only makes sense to those of you who have dined at Moe' for the rest of you, that's what they yell when you come in the door..HEY WELCOME TO MOE'S!...) but I was eating solo at Moe's yesterday and this boy child runs over in front of my table and just stares at me.  For minutes on minutes while his dad was distracted.  So then they go to leave and I think I am safe because I had begun to worry he was trying to suck my soul out of my orbital sockets...but he broke away from his dad and came back...just to stare at me.

Don't believe me?

Well what do you think about this?
yeah.  The defense rests your honor.


  1. I love Frisbee golf (that's west coast speak) especially with beer or shots or wine. I suck at this game so never pick me for your team. Just saying.

  2. "I know what you are thinking. I should have children because clearly I would make a wonderful parent." Honest to God, that was exactly what I was thinking. someone who is also on the Boat plan, I see your point. (By Boat, I mean purses and travel, but same difference.)