I think that for all of us, being fat guided us. It shaped our lives and our choices. After my post last night, and after reading all the comments, I have been sitting here trying to figure out why...for me...being fat didn't hold me back. For sure, being fat determined and changed the course of my life and played a key part in so many of my choices. I did things with boys bc I thought they would like me more (tried to make them forget that I was fat). I quit the dance team. I worked super hard to be funny and likeable, felt like I always had to be "on"....
And when Liz said I must have had people in my life that helped me feel good about myself, or Angie said I was lucky that I didn't let it defeat me...it made me think. I have the most amazing parents and family. My brother and I are very close now, but growing up, 8 years my senior and always super fit, he constantly told me how fat I was, how I wouldn't grow up to get a man, how I could be so much hotter....he told me about my cellulite in my fat ass....when I was 5. Boys in school called me fat (usually after I had beat them at some game or had nothing better to say). So it wasn't that people weren't constantly reminding me that I was bigger.
Was it luck? It was luck that I was born into my family I guess. They certainly shaped my sense of humor, my outgoing personality....we Workman's are all kinda like that. Entertainers...social. My parent's always believed I could do anything, supported me. My dad was my teeball coach, and my mom was that mom at high school graduation holding a sign that said "Carpe Diem" and screaming my name. But somehow, early on...I knew I had a choice. And I chose to live like I wasn't fat. And I don't know why that is. Why we are all different. I do try to remind myself that not everyone is me. And I certainly have had days, weeks, segments of my life that my body size really got me down. I mean...Hellooooo...I had weight loss surgery! You remember how Star Jones used to try and make us believe she loved being big and had no problem with it? I never loved, nor do I now, love being a big girl or being fat. I guess I just tried to work with what I had at the time. Make the best out of the "now".
On a lighter note (hahahah....pun) all that one mile running on Biggest Loser last night made me want to run a mile. I thought of Sarah every time...and all of you out there running now! In junior high we had to run a mile in under 11 minutes. I could NEVER do it...and can't do it yet. But that is one of my goals. Perhaps one I should be working on huh? Instead of just thinking about!
Happy Humpday everyone!