Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Lost Blogger & Butch Auto Body Shop

I have to tell you that sadly, I have not blogged in weeks. NOR have I read a blog in weeks.  That would be a record for me.  You know, the kind of record that is not a good thing.  Like the record for the longest time you sat on the toilet, or the record amount of blackheads on your chin.

It's nothing to be proud of.  And do you know WHY I have been a sadsack of a blogger?  It's a 4 letter word.

W-O-R-K

Okay seriously.  I will come clean with you and tell you that I have pretty much lived my life guided by the thought of those people who say "I am SO busy at work that I cant [fill in the blank] were full of horseshit. 

I have always been like..."really?  REALLY YOU ARE SO BUSY?" 

Well it has happened to me.  My coworker flew to the coup to become a flight attendant (pun points please), which left me alone to run and man the Education & Training department that used to be run by 3 people.  Oh...I got a promotion.  So now I am the manager of said department.  Very exciting.  Very draining.  Because do you know what it means to be the only person in a department?  That if something goes wrong....

there is no one else to blame. 

And I have been spending these past few weeks cleaning, organizing, teaching, and doing my job plus the job of my lost coworker.

And funny thing is, now I have my very own laptop again so I could theoretically, blog from home once more (if you remember my computer was stolen last year).

But it also turns out that when you are so mentally and physically drained from work, you are a zombie when you get home.

The end.  Those are my reason.  I blog in my head almost everyday.  I think of you guys.  I think of actually typing my thoughts out...

and thanks to one Miss Dawnya Ivey I have returned.  A little FB message was all it took. 

During my hiatus, or blogging sabbatical, life has continued.  I am actually a wreck on the inside of my head most days.  My spirit is in a little bit of disarray and I can't really organize my thoughts or find my hopeful outlook as easy as I usually can.  I blame this on the fact that work has my brain so scrambled, it doesn't leave much internal reflection time.

We went to Defuniak this weekend and I took a little four-wheel ride to the clay pit by myself and was literally talking out loud trying to figure things out.  I am struggling with self worth.   Most days I have to fight this feeling of worthlessness.  These are usually the feelings that hit me 2 days or so before my period, and then scatter like dog peter flies in the wind for the remainder of the month.  But they are sticking around.

I am sure that mentally things will start to find the upswing. 

But.  It's rough going for your girl.

I am still working out though.  I certainly would have taken "a break" because I am "so busy" if not for Heather.  So my weight is holding steady.  That is a good thing.

Here is a picture from the weekend.  Henry (Heather's cousin who we stay with everytime we go up to Defuniak...about an hour from where we live...and remember Henry is married to the wonderfully patient and kind 'other Heather') is restoring a car so we spent hours on Sunday cleaning parts that had something to do with the steering column or something. 

See that purple power container?  Well that's what we were using to remove years of gunk and grime.  I say to Henry about 30 minutes into the cleaning project, "What do the instructions say about how long to leave it on".

Henry says "I dont know, I dont read instructions".

So I look at the back and before I can get to the instructions I see something that says "If this product comes in contact with the skin, seek medical help immediately, take your stupid ass to the emergency, you may die". 

Or something real close.  So that is why we are wearing gloves in the picture.  A little too late as my hands have been peeling all week.

Oh silly instructions. 

18 comments:

  1. I missed you... Both in Chicago and here in Blogosphere... and you haven't been facebooking as often either. I wasn't worried though. I hope you feel more like yourself soon, and please don't let this worthlessness dweller become yourself. You are amazing and completely worthy... and worthwhile. I love you, Aims... Spoil yourself a little. You deserve a little pampering or relaxation. *M*

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  2. I started a new job a few weeks ago and 2 days later the assistant was let go so I TOTALLY get what you mean..... 12 and 13 hour days are no joke and my brains are completely scrambled too. But we'll get through this and things will get better. I know they will. They have to!

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  3. i hope you start feeling better Amy! i swear the hormones that run through us as women can totally screw us all up periodically!

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  4. Thank you for coming back to us!! I coudl always move to Florida and come work for you. Then you can blame me when things go wrong. I think it is cool that you had a chance to go out solo and talk things out with yourself.

    You will figure it out. I and so many others have confidence in you. I knkow it's hard being a superstar all the time...but I believe in you.

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  5. Congrats on the promotion! So glad you're back and checking in.

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  6. Only you would be promoted to manage a department of Me, Myself and Amy! Congratulations! You'll get back on track with work and life....

    Its great seeing a post from you though....always a guaranty that I will laugh! Love ya!

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  7. Hooray, you're back!
    Sorry those hormones are playing havoc with your brainspace; mine do the same with me around TOTM, but this month they were around before/during/after because we've just moved house and I'm stressed. So, perhaps the stress of your job is having the same effect on you? Blah. And we can't even turn to food to help...

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  8. Congratulations on the promotion! But sorry the transition has been so taxing. Are you going to get the opportunity to hire someone to help you out?

    As for the mental state, we all go through it. I think it's a relic of being fat. I know you've been Miss Confidence even when overweight but I still think those feelings of "just not good enough" creep in whether we admit it or not. Hopefully it'll pass quickly. ((HUGS))

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  9. It sounds like good ole stress. I have it too. And the same job of managing myself and when this shit hits the fan there is no one to back me up. So hard and draining, yes. But I'm glad you posted. We miss you, but it's OK to take time for yourself. We'll always be here.

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  10. THERE you are!! So glad to hear you're ok - and congrats on the promotion. Brains are a funny thing [and sometimes a stupid thing]. I know what you mean - sometimes those feelings of low self worth just come out of no where, when they have no basis in fact or behaviour. You just keep doing your thang, girl, and we're so happy to have you back. Hope you get a new co-worker soon to pick up some of the slack...hugs.

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  11. I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard go at it... You seem like a strong person and you will come out on top. I'm glad you are back.

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  12. Congrats on the promotion pretty lady! :-) Hang in there with that crazy work load.

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  13. Hey girl, I've been meaning to write about you for awhile now, and today's post was good incentive to do it. You and your blog have been so valuable for me! Congrats on the promotion and don't let it burn you out - you'll get a handle on all the added responsibility.

    I wrote a tribute to you on my own blog today:
    http://freejulie.blogspot.com/2011/10/homage-to-once-upon-timein-land-of.html

    And, thanks again!

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