Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A BIG FAT Comparison

I have been mulling over this post for a few days. I wanted to talk about comparing our weight loss with others. I wonder if my feelings would be different if I were at the low end of the spectrum...but here goes:

My thought on comparing our weight loss with other's weight loss is....

DON'T DO IT

It only feels good when you are "winning". The rest of the time, it makes you feel like a failure. There is no point in it really. It doesn't matter if someone was banded the same time as you or not. We are all built different, shaped different, have different genes, and different jean sizes. Our daily lives are different, our environment is different, our bands are different. And with all those differences, why would you expect to have the same results? For example, Mary, who was banded months after me, has now passed me in weight loss. Do you know why? For all the reasons I listed above AND because she works out more than me and probably doesn't sneak Sunkist into her desk drawer. So I don't beat myself up about it. Would you like someone else to beat you up? No. So why do it to yourself?

We chose the band for various reasons. Hopefully though, we all knew that the band was a slower weight loss, 1-2 pounds on average. But still we, (ME) get cranky when on AVERAGE, that is what we lose. It's like we look at the scale and say "Ah HELL NO BIATCH....ONE POUND!" Like we didnt know that is what is expected. We want Biggest Loser numbers! Well guess what!? We dont work out with the hot Gillian or Bob 8 hours a day on a magical ranch. We live real lives with kids, work, cheetos, parents. And we are succeeding. You know how we feel when one of the contestants are standing up there boohooing about "only" losing 6 pounds in a week? Do you ever think that maybe other, nonbanded folk, look at us the same way when we bitch about only losing 4, 6, or 8 pounds in a month? How quickly we have forgotten that we used to GAIN that in a month.

I started this journey in January at 327 pounds. When I hear people starting off at a weight like 233 (where I am now) or lower, and referring to themselves as FAT COWS, or saying "I can't believe I weigh 233...do I get my feelings hurt? No, bc I am smart enough to realize that weight is relative. So while at 233 I feel like I am doing pretty good....for others....that is their highest weight ever. BUT, my point is that when you are feeling like an unpolished turd about your weight, remember that there are those that started even fatter than you! I look at the girl on the Biggest Loser who weighs over 400 pounds and I am grateful for my 327 pound starting weight because I had a head start on her.

We are doing this.
We are changing our present and our future.
We can't change the past, but we can learn from it.
We will and we can be better, do better, and live better.
mmmhmmm...Yes We Can (sorry, I felt like Obama half way into my speech and had to throw that it in).

I am writing this for all of us! Sometimes the girl in the mirror with the pointed toe needs a reminder too! Love ya blog buds!

37 comments:

  1. *claps*

    well said.. well said. I'm glad you have so many followers to read and hopefully listen to and take to heart your insightful words.

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  2. Thanks for this. I am so afraid I will do this when banded - see my recent post....By the *weigh* I am 233lbs today - so thanks for understanding it's all relative.

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  3. Very Well said Ms. Amy...You have been such an inspiration to me since Ive started this. your blog is the one that made me want to start one so that I can help motivate and Help others in the same situation. I know if you work hard and do the right things then you will be sucessful.

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  4. We all do a really good job of beating ourselves up sometimes, don't we?

    I don't know what the blog etiquette is, but I mentioned you in a post regarding confidence and pictures and...am I supposed to mention it to you?

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  5. Amanda-look at you leaving a comment on a blog! lol...I feel honored! (I know you said you usually just read and dont comment). You are a WLS success actually!

    Dawn-I read you post right after I posted this. You weigh 233 today? Damn you are skinny like me! We are hot.

    Mary-You are so good.

    Vi-hahahah, uh YEAH! You can mention me any time you want! I mention others all the time, sometimes I create a hyperlink to their blog if I feel like taking the time to do so. And thank you in adnavce for whatever you wrote (uh...I hope it was good)

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  6. Brilliant post. So true. Weight and weight loss is all relative. You are doing so well, Love your blog

    H (banded nearly 2 yrs ago, now at or around goal weight: the battle continues)

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  7. Amy - you are such an inspiration for me!!! I found you and Catherine on the same day and have been blog-stalking you since... this is a great post. And you're right. I've realized this past week that I need to relax. I've lost 55+ pounds. That is a GREAT thing. And I can't compare myself... so thank you for the gentle reminder!!! And I agree - for the first time watching TBL, I weigh less than they do and I am SO GRATEFUL.

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  8. I so needed this today! Thank you!!! xoxoxo

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  9. So true. SO TRUE. It is SO hard not to compare. And you've made such a great point about how we are succeeding. I've lost 3.5 lbs in just under 3 weeks - that's about perfectly on track. But have I been celebrating? Nope, just wishing for more. Thanks for an amazing post Ames.

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  10. You ROCK! Slow and steady wins the race.......we ALL can do it with a little hard work and your blog to keep us in check.

    One more time, YOU ROCK!

    -Amy

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  11. So so true!! I used to get all upset at the beginning when I saw that so many people on LBT were losing much faster than me. But now, 11 mos. later, I'm only 14.6 pounds from goal! Maybe it's taken longer for me than it has for some others, but I'm here!!

    And, the one good thing about all of this slowness is that I don't think I'm going to need any cosmetic surgery at all. Everything had plenty of time to snap back where it should be. That's a good thing to remember when we all get frustrated by plateaus!

    You are doing so great -- and frankly, you do look amazing in the 230s! :)

    Catherine

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  12. I heart you Miss Amy!!! Great post.

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  13. Awesome post. Yes We Can.

    I started at 234, my highest weight ever, but I remember life at 134.... You know, 100 pounds is a whole lot no matter how you look at it.

    And another thing, we all look totally different even at the SAME weights! For example, I have seen a few undie shots revealing way better butts than mine, at higher weights. No point in comparing.

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  14. Amy, fantastic blog as always! I love reading your blogs. Great point made today, I think everybody, myself included, needed this little reminder.

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  15. THANK YOU for this post!! I will admit, though, that sometimes I've felt jealous of how awesome YOU are doing and it feels like I am moving at a turtle's pace! But at least I am losing, though! : )

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  16. What a great post! I'm so motivated by reading and seeing you shrink! :) Keep up the great work and wish you lots more pounds lost!

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  17. Amy- I was having a shitty day and you just made me smile. Thank you for being positive in a world full of negativity. Love ya!

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  18. Thanks for posting this. I am 6 weeks out and read your blog and Catherine's everyday. During this 6 weeks I have gained and lost the same 8 lbs. Today I am down 4 of those 8 but who know's what tomorrow brings. I go in for my first fill tomorrow and have been beating myself up all week. I look at other people who had surgery around the same time as me and they've lost 10-15 lbs. This morning I stepped on the scale and said Great...4lbs in 6 weeks you've got to be kidding. But I decided today I'm just going to take it one meal at a time.

    Thanks for all your great post.

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  19. Congrats on your great weight loss! You are doing great! Your stories crack me up!

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  20. I 'used' to like to eat ice cream while watching the Biggest Loser, which made me a BIG LOSER! Anyway, thanks for the post..wiser words were never spoken!

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  21. And this, Amy, is why I think....YOU ROCK!!!!

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  22. Oh I am totally guilty of this! I was banded at 245 (and felt like the biggest girl in the world) but I know what it is like to weigh 125. I was a hot tamale at that weight lol Now, 8 months out I'm 187 and sometimes I think I'm doing a bad job. I still think I'm fat and to lots of people I am. I know I need to let those thoughts go and just focus on me. It's hard for me though and is a daily struggle. Thanks for the reminder.

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  23. There is a reason you are so popular Amy- we all LOVE you! And you do totally rock and you are totally gorgeous and I totally look forward to your blog everyday! :)

    YOU ARE THE REASON I AM BANDED TODAY AND NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO YOU.

    THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!

    YOU HAVE PLAYED A VERY IMPORTANT ROLE IN SAVING MY LIFE. YOU ARE A HERO TO ME.

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  24. You are so very right and so many (including me) need to hear this (and actually let it soak in). I am only 11 pounds from goal, but still have days when I compare myself or feel like a failure. It's another one of those mental hurdles we must overcome!

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  25. Amy, I think you have broken some sort of record with all of the comments about this post. I agree with all the comments above and appreciate you saying this. We are all very differnt and while I am starting at what some would consider a lower weight, I am only 5'2" and I am (hmm,mmm) almost 50 years old so I KNOW my loss rate will be less and I am trying to get the in the mindset that it's OK. Thank you, thank you!

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  26. Amy - are you psychic because I'm pretty sure you just read my mind. I am so bad at comparing myself to the world and if someone else was doing it, I would promtly tell them exactly what you said yet could never believe it for myself but you are so right! I am going to print this post off and have it on the wall in my bedroom to remind me that I am me and no one else is!

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  27. Well miss lady you blew the site tonight!!! *golf clap* *golf clap* kudos to you! I completely agree. I think the reason we do compare is b/c some of us (myself included) was always the fat girl w/ skinny friends. so when you meet overweight women you get along with, it's a feeling of comfort and being able to relate. And in this scenario, we are all overweight, getting banded, and striving to be better. so I think we compare b/c we are all trying to accomplish the same thing in a round about way.

    For me too, my bff weights 100 lbs and always has. So when I meet other big, beautiful, confident, fashionistas I FEEL EMPOWERED and COMFORTED. IT'S LIKE, "omg they're out there, just like me". you know?

    so of course, of course you kick ass! You are doing fabulous. I think you're just riding out the remaining of the vacay weight gain funk! in a week or two and back on the down you'll be feeling ever so proud and confident.

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  28. Fantastic post Amy! I was only half way through drafting a blog about the weight loss of others (my friends) and the rate it is happening (will be posted shortly).
    You are a true inspiration to all women, and helps put perspectives in a better place....to often it is easier to judge yourself with others success (and usually feel let down)!

    I vote AMY for the next PRESIDENT...your speeches rock! LOL

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  29. Thanks Amy this is exactly the type of post I need to be reading while I feel that I have been in a bit of a rut. :-)

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  30. You hit the bulls eye on this one! I am one of those that feel they are huge. I am 5'3" and 228.6 lbs. But I remember being 98-100 lbs in High School, so compared to that, I feel like a total loser. Which is why I have decided to take back my life and get the Band. My journey is only just beginning, but I hope that my success is as fast as yours has been. I love your blog and read it everyday! Keep up the good work. :)

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  31. All my wonderful ladies!!! Thank you guys for each and every comment you left on this post. I promise I read (and sometimes re-read them) and they are what keeps me motivated and inspired! We all help each other, very cyclical (spelling) That is why on LBT I always tell people to check out our blogs or start a blog, bc I have found so much strength, support, and encouragement on these blogs. I mean, where else can you post a picture of your 327 pound butt in swimsuit and have people tell you lots of great things about your body!

    Some of our lapband trendsetters or pacesetters, like Catherine, Lacey, Bandster, etc that are at or so close to goal....you guys will be entering uncharted water for us. You will be learning what it means to maintain, and I cant wait to read your blogs and posts about what that means and feels like.

    Thank you guys so much for everything you said! I wanted to post something more solid, although it is fun to talk about poop, room redo's and etc!

    Love ya!

    Amy

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  32. Glad you wore the shirt Amy...next time go without the cami and really freak them out!! lol

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  33. So true.

    Comparisons are never fair comparisons, especially when it comes to WL.

    And when I think about it, every time I compare myself to someone else I feel crappy afterwards, so why bother?

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  34. Amy, I just wanted to let you know that I recently decided to get banded. And then I found your blog and read it from beginning to end in the past few days. You are an inspiration - super cheesy, I know, but it is great to see how someone has done it, cheetos and all!

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  35. Hi Amy ! It's Sandrine from Belgium ^-^ (I added you on facebook--> well I hope I asked the right Amy Workman and not another one AHAHAHAHHA ! I had my first appointment with the surgeon few days ago ! Will write you more later ! You are a muse ! Smooooooches !

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  36. You are so right! We sould not be comparing ourselves to others. That temptation is an easy one to give in to.

    Trixie

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