Monday, November 18, 2013

Tomorrow I'm Swappin' Out the Sags for Some Perky Girls!

Above is a picture of the last time my girls will run an obstacle race.  They will be replaced tomorrow with new chesties.

Here is the skinny.

I am getting a breast lift with augmentation.  The lift is performed first.  He will make a keyhole incision around my nipple, take the nipple off, cut out the extra skin, put the little nip back on and stitch it up.  Sort of like this.
Then, the implant will be put in through an incision under the boob fold. 

Dr. Patterson talks in cc's.  So when people ask me what "size" I will be, I am not sure.  Probably a C.  He will decide during the surgery if he will be putting in 300cc implants or 325cc's. 

My surgery is at 7:00 am and it should last 3.5 hours. 

I have taken before pictures.  I will be wrapped/bound until my 2 day post op on Thursday.  He will unwrap me and take a look see, then wrap me back up.  I should be able to shower after that, so when I return home...I will try and take the first after picture.  I will try and post side-by-sides at least weekly. 

I am nervous, scared, and excited.

Let's cover that in the order as listed above.


That I will die.  I mean...anything can happen right?  I will be covering this matter with Heather when we get into bed tonight.  In lieu of flowers, I would like donations sent to the animal shelter in Topeka, KS.  I also have two life insurance policies that give Heather and my mother a good deal of money.  I mean...not enough to whack me over...but enough.  Heather is to donate some of that money to the shelter as well.  At my funeral, I want there to be a dance off between some of my favorite queer fellows, meatballs, and queso.  I do not want to be cremated.  I want to either be dipped in bronze (or platinum) or entombed so people can worship me.  Also, I will let Heather know that she is not to date or have sex again.  At least for 10 years.  This is not a Nicholas Sparks novel.  I do not wish her to find happiness with another meaty woman for a very long time.  Then end.

I am scared that I will not like the new boobies.  AND THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY TO SPEND ON SOMETHING SO PERMANENT!    What if they are too big?  What if they are too high?  What know?  There are a million what if's.  What if Heather hates them? 

I am also scared of how much pain I will be in.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance...but I just don't know what to expect.  Maybe it won't be that bad. 

I am scared that maybe they will look amazing...and that will make the rest of me look even worse.

And excited...

Yes.  I am so excited.  I am excited to be able to wear a strapless dress.  I am excited to be able to bend over during sexy times and not be distracted by my swinging ladies.  I can't even really imagine.

I am off work for two whole weeks...which is also rather exciting.  Heather will be with me for 3 days.  I will post again as soon as I can...

until then...

hugs and kisses and sweet dreams of fields of lilacs and pert nipples!


  1. oooh exciting, hope all things go as planned and I think you and Heather will both like them

  2. Oh good luck, you deserve to enjoy the new perkies...and you won't die but I do love your funeral plan. Love it. :)

  3. GOOD LUCK! Will be thinking about you and looking forward to hearing how it goes!

  4. I am so excited for you! Congrats on the new rack and don't sweat all the stuff that is scaring you. Heather won't hate them and neither will you. Also, you won't be dying. I won't allow that :)

  5. Excited for you! Can't wait to see pics!

  6. great news, i know you have wanted this for a long time!!

  7. Congrats on finally getting you some new girls!! I can't wait to see how it turns out. I'm only 4 weeks banded and we're already starting to save for the tummy tuck and boobies!!

  8. Good luck! I'm sure all will go great! Btw-super jealous!

  9. Wishing you the best of luck. I had my arms done, legs and the ladies are next (I'm getting implants, though) is amazing what a difference a nip and tuck can make. Cheers to the girls!


  10. Hope you're doing well-- you deserve the very best!

  11. Well congrats.... hope you are have a pain-free recovery. Im sure the doctor will make the puppies look wonderful.

    Think of it this way... can't be worse. At least that's the way i thought of my TT. Anything is better than sagging skin.

    Can wait to see the afters. Take care of your self and listen to the doctor when he say.... Do nothing... it's very important.