Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Anyways, I digress. So the other night when Heather was playing ball, they had told her they may need me to fill in....
I may need to PLAY SOFTBALL.
I immediately started to get diarrhea.
You see, I played softball when I was in elementary school. My dad was always the coach. And I don't necessarily remember being terrible, I do remember getting in trouble for playing in the dirt whenever I got stuck in outfield and I remember him yelling "JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL" when I was trying to bat. Which is the stupidest thing someone can tell you because I DO keep my eye on the ball, the entire time it is whizzing by me.
In fact, I used to work with children who had behavior disorders (for about seven years in a school setting), and I often organized recess activities. And so I took these k-5th graders out to play softball one day. Now some of these kids had motor skill issues...mmmkkkay? And they managed to hit the ball just fine. But when Miss Amy (that would be me) got up to swing...missed. Every.Single.Time
I cried a little on the inside.
I havent attempted batting since.
You see, I swing like a champ. And heaven help my competitors if I ever actually made contact. But now I have psyched myself out...permanently...
What if I shame Heather? What if they revoke my girl lover card? I am still waiting for my official Lesbian Card to arrive in the mail. What if they catch wind I can't play?
Makes me want to poop.
Anyways, I in fact did not have to play that night. Wooo, but the season is young. So I told Heather we need to get me to the batting cages ASAP so I can get over this mental block.
BUT, there is some good news. Yesterday a new employee came into my office and asked...get this...
"Did you ever play softball? You look like a softball player?"
bahahahahaha....so there is hope!
Posted by Amy W. at Tuesday, September 20, 2011