Can you weigh your worth? No. But we do don't we? Every time we step on the scale we wait...to see what we weigh...and to see what we are worth. It doesn't sound right to type that or read it does it? We know better. Right? Are value, are life, how much we give, how much we love, can't be measured on our scale.
But yet the damn thing, and those 3 numbers that pop up, can beat us down or lift us up. That is a lot of power we give away...in this race of ours.
And what exactly are we racing for? I am not even talking about racing each other. We race ourselves! Hurry, must lose faster, faster, faster, not enough. Why?
Are we racing for health? To fit into pants or an airplane seat? To get a date? To prove that the band works and that we made the right decision. Are we racing away from something? Fear, loneliness, fat rolls, a relationship? Do we just want to hurry up and be skinny already?
I hate to tell you guys (and remind myself) that we did not pick the quick fix WLS. Oh sure, it is quicker and "fixier" then no WLS, but we chose the lapband...and I think we all knew that was going to be slower then gastric bypass.
And I don't know what we are racing for, or why we let numbers determine our day, week, or life. For many of us, it has always been that way. For women in general, we learn at an early age that our weight matters. But somewhere along this weight loss journey I think we have to stop once in awhile and give ourselves a good old bitch slap in the face. We are getting there. And yes, it is not overnight. And yes, it is slower then some of our blogger friends. But it's happening.
So breathe. Look at where you started. Look at how many times you have failed and realize this time you are not failing. Recognize that if the scale doesnt move for a day. Or a week. Or worse...if it moves up a little...that it will be okay and it will start moving down again. But more importantly, remember that you are just as wonderful at this weight as you were 5 pounds heavier. AND, you are just as wonderful at this weight as you will be 5 pounds lighter. Sometimes we get so caught up in what's not right about our situation that we fail to recognize all the gifts we have been given.
And as some wise woman once said....I dont know who....but that doesn't matter.....
YOU BEST RECOGNIZE!