My Digits

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Can You Weigh Your Worth?

Can you weigh your worth? No. But we do don't we? Every time we step on the scale we wait...to see what we weigh...and to see what we are worth. It doesn't sound right to type that or read it does it? We know better. Right? Are value, are life, how much we give, how much we love, can't be measured on our scale.

But yet the damn thing, and those 3 numbers that pop up, can beat us down or lift us up. That is a lot of power we give away...in this race of ours.

And what exactly are we racing for? I am not even talking about racing each other. We race ourselves! Hurry, must lose faster, faster, faster, not enough. Why?

Are we racing for health? To fit into pants or an airplane seat? To get a date? To prove that the band works and that we made the right decision. Are we racing away from something? Fear, loneliness, fat rolls, a relationship? Do we just want to hurry up and be skinny already?

I hate to tell you guys (and remind myself) that we did not pick the quick fix WLS. Oh sure, it is quicker and "fixier" then no WLS, but we chose the lapband...and I think we all knew that was going to be slower then gastric bypass.

And I don't know what we are racing for, or why we let numbers determine our day, week, or life. For many of us, it has always been that way. For women in general, we learn at an early age that our weight matters. But somewhere along this weight loss journey I think we have to stop once in awhile and give ourselves a good old bitch slap in the face. We are getting there. And yes, it is not overnight. And yes, it is slower then some of our blogger friends. But it's happening.

So breathe. Look at where you started. Look at how many times you have failed and realize this time you are not failing. Recognize that if the scale doesnt move for a day. Or a week. Or worse...if it moves up a little...that it will be okay and it will start moving down again. But more importantly, remember that you are just as wonderful at this weight as you were 5 pounds heavier. AND, you are just as wonderful at this weight as you will be 5 pounds lighter. Sometimes we get so caught up in what's not right about our situation that we fail to recognize all the gifts we have been given.

And as some wise woman once said....I dont know who....but that doesn't matter.....

YOU BEST RECOGNIZE!

xoxo

26 comments:

  1. Thanks Amy! This was a good little reminder for me since I am at the beginning of this journey. I do compare myself to other bloggers success and sometimes wonder what I am doing wrong. In the end I am not doing anything wrong though, right?! The scale should not be the determining factor of how I feel about myself. I AM still the same person!

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  2. :) Hey, I was just contemplating all of this and starting to compose a post in my brain. I've been pretty upset with my slow loss. I can guarantee that I'm not going to lose 100 pounds in my first year like you (wonderfully, might I add) have. That's discouraging.

    "Look at where you started. Look at how many times you have failed and realize this time you are not failing." Thanks for the reminder. I tell myself the same thing every day.

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  3. Oh man... I needed this bitch slap today! :-) Thanks Amy... glad you posted.

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  4. Preach it Sista!

    It's true. Very true. And I am sooo very guilty of it. I didn't engage in it pre-band but I guess now that I have experienced the charge of losing weight so consistently I am miffed and sad when it doesn't happen. But that's not a helpful way of approaching wt ls.

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  5. Thanks, I needed this today!!!

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  6. I hear ya sista! Great post! Comparing ourselves to others, to some societal "norms", to a "standard chart" and then punishing ourselves with negativity is about the same as one person in each different Olympic event doing their thing and then trying to determine a winner. Based on what? We aren't even comparing apples to apples and oranges to oranges. Even our own personal situation changes daily and we can't compare ourselves to how we were doing before. I think it's time we stopped trying to win a race that doesn't exist and focus on creating a life for ourselves that is healthy, happy and fulfilling.

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  7. I ♥ you Amy.. I woke this morning feeling like seven different shades of shit.. and now you have made me feel beter about myself..
    I really think you should write a book. You have the best way with words..
    xx Nene

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  8. I keep trying to remind myself that I am NOT on a diet, this new road I have chosen for my life will not have an END until I die. I see others who were banded same month/year as me and beat myself up when I am not losing as quickly. Thanks for such a reminding me again that I am not in a race!

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  9. Excellent words Ames! We all do need this reminder and wake up call now and then and especially with the holidays sneaking up on us, it's a good stop and think post! Thanks!

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  10. So true - it is funny to read it - it makes perfect sense now that I have read it

    You don't realise how much weight loss takes over your life sometimes

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  11. oh you made me teary! it's been a long difficult week, month, year and I should recognize!

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  12. Every now and again a great post is put out there - reminding us of why we are doing this! This was one of those, Amy. There's not one of us banded girls or guys who doesn't bemoan the fact the scales aren't moving fast enough or going in the right direction and writing it down like this puts it in perspective.
    We chose the lapband for the sake of deliberately going slower - to give our bodies time to adjust and so we could incorporate this lifestyle forever and yet we do forget.. all the time. A good bitch-slap is exactly what we need every now and again and here it is. xxx

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  13. Great post, Amy, and just what I needed today!

    Jami

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  14. Ahhh, Amy, this is why we all love you! This makes me want to meet you in person even more--and I wouldn't have thought that that were even fathomable before. Thanks for this!!!

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  15. I agree with all of the kudos above-- you said it. It is very hard to see ourselves as 'other' than our weight b/c it is such a literal physical part of our being. But the truth is, we are so much more than what we look like and what we weigh.
    The great thing about the choice to use the band as a tool is that it is very involving to the patient-- if we don't participate, we don't get results. We can hope that is a set up for long term success... but we still have to take it every day step by step.
    Great post, Amy!

    Vanessa

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  16. Thank you for this post Amy. I have to remind myself each week as I record my weight, that I'm not in a hurry. For me, making changes I can live with is much more important than seeing a big loss each week.

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  17. Ok you are officially the "Carrie" of the blog world...Band and the City??? What do you think. Thank you for your posts, this one almost made me cry.

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  18. I love what Melissa just said, "Band and the city"!! That would be great! But, I totally agree with you & even though we all know this, it is something that we all need to hear once in a while (ok, more than once in a while) to keep our sanity & thoughts in check.

    I am only just starting my 3rd week of banding & my weight loss has already slowed wayyy downnn! I was getting upset & pissed that the scale wasn't moving, but then you posted this & reminded me that it WILL change, just give it time!! Thanks Amy, I needed this!! :)

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  19. Thank you, I needed to hear that in a bad way. I let that stupid scale set the mood for my day...if it's the same, im ticked, if it's up I am really really pissed, and if its down, I am in an amazing mood! thanks again for the great post!

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  20. Wow. You have no idea how much I really needed to be bitched slapped today. I have been feeling like a complete failure...and why!? Because I have lost 25 pounds?

    I am so freak'in hard on myself.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this post!!!!!!!

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  21. Thank you for this Amy! You are so right and we all need to remind ourselves frequently how much we rock! Thanks for taking the time to write this all down for all of our fellow lapbandsters!!!

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  22. You know that little angel sitting on your shoulder telling you to think positive, that you are doing great, that you are strong... My little angel has your face :) Thanks for this post!

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