Thursday, February 5, 2009

Scales and Swimsuits

I was raised on the water. We have been boaters my whole life. For most of my adult life (not counting the last 2 years...bc I am a grown-up now), I have taught some water related activity all summer. For three summers I taught boating and canoeing at a camp in upstate NY. Then, for four summers before I moved to Florida, I taught swim lessons...8 hours a day, for 5 days a week. Now during the summer, Tracey and I try to go to the beach every weekend. So, a swimsuit to me has always been my summer uniform.

I tell you this bc it always makes me so sad when I hear women say that they haven't wore a swimsuit in years. Once I was watching "How to Look Good Naked" on TLC or whatever, and this woman had a pool in her backyard, and wouldnt go swimming with her 3 kids. I think she was like a size 16!

So I say DO IT. WEAR IT! Your body is your body...are you going to let it dictate your life and take away the things you enjoy bc you worry it doesn't look good? Pahshaw I say. If people don't like our cellulite...too bad for them.

*Amy Steps off her soap box*

The other thing I wanted to share with you is the first time Tracey found out what I really weighed. He wanted to be involved with me every step of the way on my lapband I knew eventually he would be at an appointment with me where he heard my weight. I talked in a previous blog how people wouldn't guess what I really weigh...and I knew that was true of Tracey. Sometimes we would be watching a show about fat people and they would say their weight...250, 300, etc. And everytime Tracey would be like "WOW, they are really heavy". I would nod at him and smile...thinking inside my head that I weighed more than this people on TV.

So, when I went for my upper endoscopy, we were standing at the nursing station filling out paperwork and the nurse told me to write my weight in the blank.

Tracey was standing right beside me. He looked at me, I shook my head....indicating for him to look the other weigh (pun).

He shook his head no and smiled.

I began to write my weight 3...2....7.

I looked at Tracey. And bless his heart, his eyes were big, his mouth slightly open, and he had a look of confusion on his face.

He looked at the number, looked at me. Looked at the paper, looked at me and shook his head.

I said, "Yes baby...I told you it was higher than you thought".

He said "I love you and you are perfect no matter what number".

I do wish someone had video taped it though. It was priceless.

I don't know what picture to post, so I will post one of me pre-op. It was after Halloween and I was modeling me great find from Walgreens. I wig for $1.

That is probably a McDonalds cup trying to peep into the picture. I ate McDonalds every morning.


  1. Hey Amy,
    I'm Angie... got banded a little less than 24 hours ago, am at home and cant sleep anymore, so it's just me, the heating pad and catching up on your blog. I just want to say YAY for not avoiding life/not wearing swimsuits. I am the same way - I have 100lbs to lose and it has never stopped me from throwing on some swimmers and enjoying life!!

  2. my husband has yet to know how much i weigh - and we have been married for 2 yrs! the only time it came up was when i was 7 months pregnant and i was afraid i was going to break a beach chair that we bought with only a 300lbs weight limit!

  3. I was never a swimsuit fan even when I was "thin" (I don't like that as a word because I was bulimic and unhealthy to weigh as little as I did) because I've always been more of a street surfer. I skateboarded with the boys and to this day, I haven't been able to shake my standard boarding attire (baggy t-shirts, baggy jeans - although when I got heavier, I let the jeans be tighter but I still wear really baggy shirts. I can't stand the feel of them pressing on my skin.

    I like seeing Angie's comment up there, because I'm in the exact same boat. A little more than 24 out of the operating room and I've been sipping Cookies n Cream protein drink with alternating sips of calorie free Fruit2'O.

    Aside from keeping my weight private in my writing gigs, if someone asked me how much I weighed, I always told them. Most of the time people would say "I didn't think you were that big!" or try to back peddle with "You have such a pretty face!"

    Hey, I'll take the "Pretty Face" comments any day of the week. Beauty comes from within, I've learned this through my line of work where everyone I am with, from Downs' to CP to Autistics to your garden variety mild to moderate retarded persons love you if you're a good person. Your looks are secondary to them. They don't judge what's in front of them by the surface but by how they are treated. It's no wonder I've stayed in this low-paying position for nearly 8 years now! Sure makes it easier to feel less guilty about being lazy and buying a 99 cent cheeseburger for lunch!

    I carry around a charm on my purse which jingles everywhere I go from its little bell. It's a String Monster and mine is "Monster Man." You flip over his label and he stands for "Helping you to find the beauty in the not-so-beautiful."

    Thing is, we've all got to stop and realize just how beautiful we are. If I could bring in just a fraction of what my awesome family and friends bring in to me, I'd be set. But it IS a battle.

  4. Just discovered your blog. I noticed you on my followers and I don't know how your blog slipped by me. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT! Your story is inspiring.

    Good for you for not letting swimsuits get you down. I'm one of those people that hasn't worn a swimsuit in years. Y E A R S!! I think it's been about 11 years actually. Gotta love your confidence and mentality. And you're so close to goal! I have a lot of catching up to do, and I hope you get this comment since it's so far back. Gotta go, more reading to do. :D Happy day my friend.

  5. Hi Amy! I've been reading your blog today and I found this post. Your confidence is inspiring! I have only just begun seriously considering getting banded and am trying to soak up as much info as possible. I am enjoying reading your blog from the very beginning.

    That being said, I cannot remember the last time I was in a swimsuit without something covering it (i.e., the famous t-shirt and shorts in the pool). I can remember wearing t-shirts in the pool before I was a teenager. I'm now 25 and have not been swimming in about 5 years. I'm dying to go swimming, but I don't have access to a pool that offers the seclusion I require (which is nobody else in sight).

    I'm so comforted by the fact that you have the confidence to wear a swimsuit at any size. When I see a larger woman in a swimsuit in public, I feel envious of her confidence.

    So there you made me envy you!! :)

  6. Amy,
    I work at Baptist (you've actually trained me quite a few times) and I'm on th track to get lapband. I had no idea that you had a blog but I heard about it at Dr. Friedman's office. I'm so glad I started reading it, your blog will be a source of distraction for me as I wait for my boyfriend to get out of his lap band surgery. I started reading your blog this morning and I identify with you in so many ways. Obviously I just read this post about when your boyfriend found out your weight....I'm dreading it. My stomach is all in knots, he loves me for me and I know weight isn't an issue but GAWSH! He is coming with me to my next appointment and I want so bad to tell him to step out when I het weighed. Maybe I should just get over it? Your excitment about life is contagious. I can't wait to read more of your blog. Don't judge me for posting on old blogs!

    Krista Hatfield