I am writing this letter to let you know that I hate you. I think we should break up. I don't like your honesty. Can't you sugarcoat things for me? I mean what's a few pounds less once in awhile? We have talked about this before...but NO, you continue to show me what I don't want to see.
I know we have been together for awhile. This might be hard on you. Deal with it buddy. I don't want to have to go all Jerry Springer on your ass. I am sorry you have had to live right by the litterbox. But space is limited.
Perhaps we can get together on the moon. Where you will show me the numbers I long to see.
P.S. Um....okay, so you know I am not getting rid of you. But, Oprah said we need to share our feelings with each other.