I Posed Naked For an Art Class...Thought You Might Want To See End Result

HAHA

Do these pants make my butt look FAST?

So, on Tuesday...we upped are walking routine to 2 miles. I didnt think it would be that hard since on Saturday, we walked 1.5 miles. I think it was mental but after we had walked the path one mile in one direction, and had to turn back to complete that last mile (so we could get back to the car), my shoes started bothering me....shin splints...lol. My dad asked me if I was going to make it. I told him, "Failure is not an option...because he couldnt carry me back to the car". So we made back. We did 2 miles again last night and not that bad. Tracey is jogging a mile while I walk...bc I think he will enter the 5k as a jogger. Anywhoooo....tonight I think we will go do another 2 miles.

Good news though! This has jumpstarted my weight loss again. Today I was at 300.0! My goal was 299 by March 1st, which is Sunday. I set that goal during my pre-op diet where the weight was falling off as fast as Paris Hilton's clothes...BUT, I just might make it.

What I want to say here is this. I read about people who no longer think about food every minute of their day. I read about people who workout and enjoy it. They say that they never thought they would see the day that either of those were true. And I always doubt them...meaning...I think they couldn't have loved food or loathed working out as much as I do.

So my point is....I HATE WALKING. Where I work has a pretty big campus. If we were walking to a meeting, and the walk might have taken 5 minutes...I would have drove. I never thought I could walk and sort of enjoy it. And this shift has only taken 3-4 months. SO, if I can...you can. Now, I still think of food every minute of the day...but hopefully in time that will change. Someone recenlty told me that "normal" people don't think of food all the time. That seems so crazy (in a sane way) to me. So I asked Tracey "Do you think about food all the time". He said NO! That he only thinks about it when its meal time. Odd.

Mardi Gras Pics

Tracey and I at the Sunday Beach Parade.

My bobbles.

My dad and I at the Friday night parade.

Night Parade.

Beads and Boobies

Hello all! It was Mardi Gras weekend here in Pensacola, and while you don't really see boobies at our parades, there are lots of beads. I will post some pics later tonight.

Nothing much to report, but I didnt want you to think I have forgotten about you. We have been walking more. This weekend Tracey, my dad, and I went walking. We walked 1.5 miles! Wooo! I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it was pretty easy! I mean, I was out of breath sometimes, but I didnt hurt like I thought I would. It's also such a big boost for your emotional health. Anyways, I think we will move on up to 2 miles next walk (hopefully tomorrow night). Maybe we will stick with that for a few weeks, and I am going to start timing myself more closely...and then I think I will register for a 5k. Not to win it, but to complete it. I would like to do one no later than May, because it gets hotter than nuclear buffalo wings from Hooters down here in Pensacola, and I dont think I want my first race to be in 90 degree weather. Have mercy.

Stupid scale is still stuck. Although this morning after a particularly large bathroom expierence, I lost .5 pounds! haha...speaking of. Pooping has gotten tough these last few days. I have never had children, but sometimes when I am passing the "granny smith", I think to myself "if women can squeeze out babies, I can do this, I can do this *hee hee hoo, hee hee hoo*" I was thinking about a stool softner...but that's just asking for trouble.

My first fill is a week from Thursday. I think I do liquids for two days prior and two days after. Fun times.

My breakdown

You know, there are a lot of expectations that come with getting weight loss surgery. And I know that LapBand is different than Gastric, and I know the weight loss is slower. And I am fine with that. I am not really fine with the weight gain that happened after I went from liquids to real food.
It's tough when you are watching what you eat and you still gain a few pounds. And yes, it's just 3 pounds...but 3 pounds can seem like a lot when you have went through so much to start a new life.
I wanted to share this post with everyone, just in case you don't read LapBand Talk Forums.

As most of you (those who read my post regularly) know, I got my band in
August on 08. I have had troubles with restriction. I am on my 4th fill now
and
finally have the restriction that I have needed all alone. Up until this
past
Wednesday, I wasn't hardly losing any weight and what weight I was
losing, I had
to lose with self control.I have a 14cc band and I have have
9cc in it so far. I
thought until my last doctors visit, the band was going
to be another one of
those things I have tried and it just wasnt going to
work. When I weighed in at
the doctors office, for the first time, I weighed
267lbs. I lost 15lbs the first
2 weeks after getting my band and I was so
excited. After that, I would stall
and then lose very very slowly. When I
weighed in on Wednesday, I weighed 229,
thats without my shoes and socks on
and taking 2lbs off for clothes. I weighed
this morning, no clothes on at
all and I now weigh 221lbs.I am finally losing
again and I am so happy.
Today is Valentines day, my husband ask me what I want
today and all I can
think of is, I want another pair of pants cause the size 22s
that I have
been wearing, they are becoming a bit baggy on me. THAT FEELS SO
DAMN GOOD
TOO!!My point today is this. For all of you banders who think the band
isn't
working for you, give it time, it will start to work. Just have faith in
it.
When you think of giving up or just sneaking that cookie, DONT DO IT. Kepp
me in mind, I have been through hell I have been depressed, I have cried, I
have
thrown things, I have cussed this band around my stomach. But now, I am
happy, I
am losing weight, changing pant sizes again, looking better and
feeling better.
GO FOR YOUR GOAL AND NEVER STOP BELIEVING!!!HAPPY VALENTINES
DAY EVERYONE
__________________Michele

After I read that, I cried. Tracey was out seeing the kids and I was all alone. I cried bc it is hard during this waiting period before you get your fills.
I cried bc other people who know I have had the surgery expect me to lose weight, and I feel like I am letting everyone down. I feel like I am doing something wrong.
I am not cheating. I am watching what I eat. I need to start exercising :) And I do have hope. It's just hard not to get discouraged!

Valentines Day Pics

Hola. So here are some pics from Valentines Day.

This next shot gives you the size difference between me and Tracey.

Big difference huh....no pun intended:)

A Letter to the Devil

Dear Scale,

I am writing this letter to let you know that I hate you. I think we should break up. I don't like your honesty. Can't you sugarcoat things for me? I mean what's a few pounds less once in awhile? We have talked about this before...but NO, you continue to show me what I don't want to see.
I know we have been together for awhile. This might be hard on you. Deal with it buddy. I don't want to have to go all Jerry Springer on your ass. I am sorry you have had to live right by the litterbox. But space is limited.
Perhaps we can get together on the moon. Where you will show me the numbers I long to see.

Until then,

Your ex-friend,

Amy

P.S. Um....okay, so you know I am not getting rid of you. But, Oprah said we need to share our feelings with each other.

I'm Grumpy Today

Okay, so I upped my calories yesterday, tracked them on The Daily Plate. Ate 1200 calories. I gained 3 pounds. One day. 3 pounds. I don't understand. And this makes me grumpy. And discouraged.

I am trying to shake it off. Keep my head up. Be positive. BUT DAMN! 3 POUNDS!

AND

I went shopping last night for a swimsuit bc somehow I have lost mine! It was a tankini I got from Target last year. Pretty cute. Its M.I.A. And it's not shopping for swimsuits that makes me depressed...it's how horrible the swimsuits are that kill me. Why does every plus sized swimsuit either have a skirt, shorts, or some wrap thing? I WANT A CUTE SWIMSUIT! I mean...what are the fat hip girls supposed to wear? (That's hip as in cool, not fat hips) I don't want huge floral dresses to swim in. This is not 1932. I want a cute cut, sexy pattern, etc. Its like this...if you went into the swimsuit section of any store, and none of the swimsuits were marked with a size, you could walk right to the big girl swimsuits bc they are hideous! If you can make a cute swimsuit in a size 16, you can make it in a size 24. ARGH!

But again, I tried to think positive and think that this will be the last swimsuit season where it's hard to find a cute suit. But, if I keep gaining 3 pounds a day...perhaps not.

Boo hoo.

Our New Arrival

No. I'm not talking babies. I am talking about our wonderful Sleep Number by. Thank you QVC and your 5 easy payments. We tore down that horrible waterbed on Saturday and built our new bed. I love it. Its like a little cloud of air and love cradle me while I sleep. Right now we don't have a bedframe or headboard, so we are college dorming it...right on the floor...but all in good time.

The tax man should wave his money wand into my bank account on Friday, so I might purchase a bedframe and comforter, but I am also thinking about some laser hair removal for my face. One place in town is running a half off sale in February. I would love to have my uninvited whiskers zapped away. Seriously, I am 29! I'll keep you posted on that one for sure.

Oh, I ate a "real meal" last night. Grilled chicken breast and some baked beans. It wasn't as wonderful as I had hoped. But it was still good. I am stuck in limbo in regards to eating, calories and scales. I think I need to up my calories to about 1000 a day and see what happens. But after being on about 300-400 calories a day, you feel like you are doing something bad eating 1000. However, I know that anything below 900 is starving yourself and thats just not good. HOWEVER, it seems like you should be losing weight when you only eat 500 calories a day! JEESH. I mean if one pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories...and it takes roughly 2500 calories a day to maintain my current weight....it's simple math. But nothing is ever that simple...

Toodles for now my beautiful ladies!

Doctor Update

I'm sorry that I haven't updated (Cindy reminded me). My doctors appointment went really well. I stepped on the scale and wonderful little Amanda (I am not sure what her official title is...) wrote my weight down and said "crap, you've lost 20 pounds in one week!" (It's really like two weeks and I was kinda bummed because I had lost 23 pounds according to my scale)...but I was still proud.


So I met with Dr. Friedman and he said I was doing excellent. He ripped my tape right off. He said I have a 10-12cc band with nothing really in it right now. I told him that it didn't feel like I had any restriction, and that I felt like I could chug a bottle of water right now with no problem. He told me that with the liquids, I wouldnt probably feel a restriction, but he promised me that I have a restiction and when I eat solid food I would tell, so go slow.


He gave me the green light to eat full liquids and move slowly onto mushies and soft food. YEAH! I see him on March 5th for my first fill. I hope that I fill something with my first feel. As I have started to eat full liquids and some soft food, I still never get a feeling that says I should stop...I just stop on my own and ask myself if I am physically hungry. Most of the time the answer is no...so I just stop.


I am stuck at 303...let me reword that, I seem to be taking a pitstop so I am going to up the exercise this week.


Today was a beautiful day in Pensacola! We hit the beach for the first time. I apologize for the lack of humor in this post, I think the SunGod's have sucked it out of me!


The look on my face in this one is bc the water is about 67 degrees...

First Follow Up Appt

I meet with the doc today. I am excited. I am going to ask him a couple of questions though.

1. How big is my band?
2. Is there anything in it right now?
3. I don't feel any restriction. I am pretty sure I could chug water if I wanted, eat a burger, devour a pizza (although I havent tried). But I dont feel any different than pre-op. Why?
4. Full liquids are a go?
5. I can run my hand across my stomach and totally feel my port. Will this always be the case?
6. With all my coughing from my cold...can I hurt the band.

I will let you know what I find out.

Scales and Swimsuits

I was raised on the water. We have been boaters my whole life. For most of my adult life (not counting the last 2 years...bc I am a grown-up now), I have taught some water related activity all summer. For three summers I taught boating and canoeing at a camp in upstate NY. Then, for four summers before I moved to Florida, I taught swim lessons...8 hours a day, for 5 days a week. Now during the summer, Tracey and I try to go to the beach every weekend. So, a swimsuit to me has always been my summer uniform.

I tell you this bc it always makes me so sad when I hear women say that they haven't wore a swimsuit in years. Once I was watching "How to Look Good Naked" on TLC or whatever, and this woman had a pool in her backyard, and wouldnt go swimming with her 3 kids. I think she was like a size 16!

So I say DO IT. WEAR IT! Your body is your body...are you going to let it dictate your life and take away the things you enjoy bc you worry it doesn't look good? Pahshaw I say. If people don't like our cellulite...too bad for them.

*Amy Steps off her soap box*

The other thing I wanted to share with you is the first time Tracey found out what I really weighed. He wanted to be involved with me every step of the way on my lapband journey....so I knew eventually he would be at an appointment with me where he heard my weight. I talked in a previous blog how people wouldn't guess what I really weigh...and I knew that was true of Tracey. Sometimes we would be watching a show about fat people and they would say their weight...250, 300, etc. And everytime Tracey would be like "WOW, they are really heavy". I would nod at him and smile...thinking inside my head that I weighed more than this people on TV.

So, when I went for my upper endoscopy, we were standing at the nursing station filling out paperwork and the nurse told me to write my weight in the blank.

Tracey was standing right beside me. He looked at me, I shook my head....indicating for him to look the other weigh (pun).

He shook his head no and smiled.

I began to write my weight 3...2....7.

I looked at Tracey. And bless his heart, his eyes were big, his mouth slightly open, and he had a look of confusion on his face.

He looked at the number, looked at me. Looked at the paper, looked at me and shook his head.

I said, "Yes baby...I told you it was higher than you thought".

He said "I love you and you are perfect no matter what number".

I do wish someone had video taped it though. It was priceless.

I don't know what picture to post, so I will post one of me pre-op. It was after Halloween and I was modeling me great find from Walgreens. I wig for $1.

That is probably a McDonalds cup trying to peep into the picture. I ate McDonalds every morning.

Whiskers on Kittens and Warm Woolin Mittens

Listen, I have a cold. I have a cough and the sniffles. I guess I should consider myself lucky bc my boyfriend, aka the GERM machine, has the flu. Anyways, I went home from work about 2 hours early yesteday. My belly was achey...I think from sitting in a chair all day, and I had no energy.
I am supposed to be drinking 3-5 protein shakes a day, and I am still on a CLEAR liquid diet for another week. I made an executive decision last night (I am my own CEO)...I was going to eat some tomato soup. So...I DID!
I ate about 1/2 a cup. Threw some shredded cheese in their for protein. It was V-8 tomato soup. I had never had it before, but I found it in the broth section. YUM. Anyways, I ate it and about 5 minutes later, it was like a curtain of tiredness just lifted off me. It made me feel so good! So I brought it for lunch today.
I do feel a little guilty, bc technically this would be classified as cheating. But it's not like I am eating pizza. And I didnt eat a whole bowl! It just helped. And it's my body. So there...I have confessed.

Lock & Load

So, on lapbandtalk.com I told everyone one thing I have learned is to never trust a fart.

Scene:

Amy sitting at her desk.

Fart

Fart

Fart

Not a fart.

End Scene

Seriously, when all you have is liquid going in, that's really all you have coming out. hahaha....not funny:)

So today is my first day back at work. I am soooo tired. I blame it on two things: one we are sleeping in the living room bc our waterbed sprung a leak (thank God bc I hate that thing), and we havent drained it yet, so we are sleeping on matresses in the living room...which means the cats play around us all night. And two: I am hardly eating anything. Why Dr. Friedman are you torturing me? I am on to you bub! I know I can eat like normal, I dont have any restriction yet...please let me to full liquids! I meet with him on Thursday for my first check up, so I hope he lets me go on full liquids a little early...bc I am supposed to have another week of them!

Soooo, I am not sure what picture to post bc I still have tape on my incisions so it really wouldn't be any different than the other pic. I will post a pic of me at Chuck-e-Cheese in December....we went for my bosses bday! Until next time my blog readers...may the force be with you!




And just a random funny cat picture. If you have two or more cats...you will understand this.