Sometimes, when I am feeling really deep or thinking deep existential thoughts, I think about the butterfly effect, defined here by google as: In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.
In other words, I think about how all the little (and big) decisions over the course of my lifetime have led me to that very moment I find myself in. That's really why I don't believe in regrets. I don't regret anything really...because everything brought me here. And to Heather. And to my wedding. And to my current health.
I know. It's okay if you roll you eyes. Sometimes I roll my eyes at myself. But I wouldn't change my past because it has created my present.
And getting the lapband certainly led me here. It led to me to they gym at work where Heather taught fitness classes...which led me to the weight room where possibly inappropriate flirting took place. And it led me to the workout room at our wedding venue...shoulder pressing 20's with my wife. Life is crazy. And most of the time, I really like it :)
So welcome to our wedding! I owe these pictures to Stephanie and her husband. Stephanie is a fellow lapbander, and one of the originals from when we all started blogging over 7 years ago. We met in Chicago during the first lapband girls meet-up, and after gay marriage became legal in all 50 states, her and her husband raffled off wedding shoot. They drove all the way up from South Florida and we couldn't be happier with all the pics. You can find their facebook page here.
I loved my dress...but had serious anxiety about it right up until the day. I didn't think I wanted strapless, or a corset, or tons of ruffles, but the first time I tried this on, I fell in love with it...and myself. My shoes were Betsy Johnson, on clearance...it all came together.
Me: Get your shit together Amy. You are an ACTRESS. What is your role? What is your character?
Me: I am a stoic bride marrying for money.
Me: Good. Go with that.
These are our wonderful centerpieces.
My parents don't mind as much...well maybe my dad...who appears to be sleeping.
And I have NO IDEA why there is not a picture with my sister! Everything is kinda a blur...but my sister, 16 years my senior, is one of my best friends. I love her and it was an honor she said yes to my invitation for her to be my bridesmaid. I wish there were pictures of her from my bachelorette party...but that's another story for another time (someone who doesn't drink much found some a jug of rum punch....mmmkay)
And while I loved my sparkly wedges, those soon were shed for more comfy converse. Here we are doing our best to Wobble.
1. For years, people have told me that I wouldn't have time to eat at my own wedding. To which I said...OH I WILL EAT! Turns out...not so much. We invited 200 people, and there was barely time to catch my breath let alone eat. On our way to the hotel that night I was starving (Heather was trying not to puke from copious amounts of Fireball and beer).
3. We ordered way to much food.
4. Everything goes by so fast.
5. Weddings are exhausting.
6. My mother worked too damn hard, but the fact that she hustled and stressed and planned and cooked and created just so I could have my dream day...well that means more to me than she probably knows.
6. The day after the wedding, when you realize you never have to plan another wedding (because if this goes south I am moving to Maine, buying a little cabin to live in with all my dogs, and "entertaining" lobstermen and women when they come in to port)...is such a great feeling!