So, I did some research and decided to invest in what was referred to as the "Cadillac of Back Massagers*.
Recently, I had to lay to rest my third installment of my Magic Wand, pictured above.
One problem with corded items that see a lot of use, and then get their cord wrapped around them so they can fit discreetly in a sock drawer, is that over time, the place where the cord connects to the base of the "wand"...well that connection starts to frey a little. The rubber coating the covers the wires inside of the cord starts to crack and give way to the actual wires.
Well one day a couple of weeks ago, after a particularly fine massage, I went to turn unplug the little guy to return it to it's home in the drawer, and before I could get to the wall...
well...
it kinda caught fire.
Seriously. There were sparks shooting from the torn cord. It was like fireworks. One little spark landed on the damn carpet and I thought I was going to have to stop drop and roll...naked. I managed to get my little friend unplugged though...managed to stamp out the potential carpet fire...and stood there in my bedroom....back massager* in hand. It was over. The time had come. I walked into the kitchen and stood in front of the trash can. I briefly thought of burying in the yard under the oak tree. But I didn't want to have to shovel dirt with my lady bits flapping in the wind...so I placed it in the trashcan and said goodbye.
It could have been worse I guess. I could have caught my cooter on fire. That would have been an uncomfortable conversation to have with the ER doc...and my girlfriend.
Happy massaging my friends!
*If you are a member of my family or one of my coworkers, please know that I really meant my back massager. If you are anyone else, you may replace the words "back massager" with vibrator.
The end.
