My Digits

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Fills With The Lapband: Blessing or Curse?

Years ago, my coworker said to me (she had gastric bypass about a year before my surgery), that one reason she didn't want the lapband was because she didn't want to have to worry about fills or restrictions.  Reasonable I suppose. 

However, for ME, fills were a selling point.  I liked the idea of having the ability to work with my doctor to find the right restrictions.  I liked the idea of having some choice in how loose or how tight, or restricted or how unrestricted my band was.  PLUS, at every fill I met with my doctor.  I was able to see, talk to, get advice from the man who actually did my surgery.  Which is not the case with all clinics or doctors. 

Today, I still love the ability to get fills.

However, I have been putting off getting a fill for a long time now.

For several reasons.  You ready?  Let's start with the realist of all reasons.

1.  I love being able to each a damn sandwich!  At my current fill level, there is nothing that is really "off-limits".  Somethings still pose a challenge and require more work, but for the most part, if I want to eat it...it will probably happen.

Clearly, this has been a problem lately yes? 

So then there is number...

2.  Guilt and shame.  When you have gained some weight, or when you know YOUR poor choices are being reflected in your waist size and on the scale, you hate to have to suck it up and admit you need more help.  Which  I KNOW is ironic.  We chose WLS for a reason.  We need help.  And our doctors are supposed to help us.  That's what we pay them for. But, you still feel like a mini-failure if you have gained.  At least I do.  And I always want Dr. Friedman to be proud. of me.  What will he say when his "rockstar patient" has gained over 15 pounds since the last visit?  Will he be sad with me?

I am pulling up my big girl panties and taking my sorry ass in.  One reoccurring theme I have noticed in some bandsters that didnt lose initially or have gained a lot back is that they didnt keep up with the doctors or their appointments.  It seems to hold true with me.

3.  Getting a fill and being "too tight".  The last 2 times I got a fill, it resulted in my having reflux at night and needing an unfill.  So I have been a little timid to try again.  Which is counterproductive.  Sometimes there is a fine line between just right and too much.  I need to work with Dr. Friedman to find that "just right". 

I may also ask for a upper flourscopy.  I have never had one done, as it's not his standard practice, but 4 years out I would like a little reassurance that everything is looking good.

So there you go kids. 

There it be.



6 comments:

  1. Good for you for going in. I'm sure your doctor will be as proud of you as ever, and very happy to see you. :-)

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  2. AMEN to #1. I have been able to eat bread or deli meat with a fill.... I was completely unfilled a month ago and I swear it was AMAZING to eat a sandwich!!!! so sad I know

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  3. You never cease to inspire and amaze me with your honesty... and how real you are. You are one of the best things I gained thoughout my journey of loss... XOXO I miss you! *M*

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  4. Good luck with the small fill...I know how it goes..my band is very temperamental and swells a lot after a fill

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  5. Thank you so much for sharing you opinion/thoughts. I really appreciate your second paragraph under number 2.

    When I was having a lot of problems with my bad (refluxing at night and getting stuck ALL THE TIME), I wanted to lose a lot of weight before going back to see my doctor. I wanted him to be proud and not angry at me. I finally sucked it up and saw him.

    Good luck with your doctors appointments!

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  6. Gosh... I've had 2 floroscopies (sp?) in 3 months... BUT... I was where you were, and I was a tad stretched out (my pouch) - YIKES! So, 2 weeks of liquid, and then an adjustment. I'm still a tad loser than I should be, but I go back in within about 3 weeks, so we shall see... I hear you though - I'm going to Disney the week after my appointment is and I don't want to get filled before that so I can enjoy myself without fear of getting "stuck"... what a bad thought process! ugh... However, after 4 years, our PRIDE is strong enough to admit when we need a small fill, regardless of the sandwiches and how much we may have gained. Hang in there and keep rocking it!!! xoxoxo ~Sarah

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