Monday, August 27, 2012

Numbers Are Stupid...Unless They Are In Your Favor

The organization that both Heather and I work for have decided to adopt a "healthy lives" initiative.  If you carry our insurance, you can sign up for the program and you will NOT have to pay an extra $90 per month on your insurance (double that if your spouse in on your plan).   You have to go through a health screening of course, where they take your blood, check your cholesterol, blood pressure, etc...and of course....YOUR BMI.

If you have good levels you earn points. You can earn 350 points a year and redeem them for $350 dollars. 

Good blood pressure? 25 points
Non-smoker? 50 points
Working out/logging your exercise?  points
"Normal" BMI?  100 points

(we will return to that in a second).

Now my girlfriend of course will earn all her points right off the bat.  In fact, she went around looking like this:


And saying this: "That's right bitches.  Cha-ching.  It's about time this paid off"...for about 3 days.

Unlike me...who for three days before my screening walked around like this:
Saying: "Are you f%$king kidding me?!  BMI?  That's bullshit.  I am a weight lifter!  I am a body builder!  I can out run and outlift any of those skinny bitches in walking around here.  Put us on a treadmill!  Take me and have my body mass/bodyfat/muscle analzyed....I dare you!!!!"

Oh it was good.  In fact, those of you on my facebook probably saw me ranting about BMI.  I was fit to be tied.  I was hot. 

So I went into my screening and was all ready to tell my little health screener a thing or two about BMI and how far I have come.  I am 5'4".  The "normal" range for my BMI would be 110-140 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!  Say whaaat?  I mean, this is no news to me...but if you are linking my health to money...well game on.

So they took my blood.  They took my weight.  They measured my waist.

My precious little screener said "Your BMI is 31.9 and..."

I interrupted with "I KNOW.  I'm OBESE".

She said, "well, it doesn't matter, because your waist is 33"...which means according to this chart you are ATHLETIC and therefore exempt from BMI and don't need to lose any weight".

Excuse me?  Please repeat.

ATHLETIC she said again..

Oh...you can only imagine.  I think I may have blacked out from head swell.  I strode on out of that little booth and walked to find my girlfriend.

She was waiting for me.  She had discovered earlier that this was a possibility.

I said...Well I have no idea.  But I kept repeating saying things like: How's the weather.  I'm athletic.  I answered my work phone:  Athletic speaking, how may I help you?

I was unbearable.

I did realize though how funny it was that I was so set on how a number can't determine your health or fitness...

until a number worked out in my favor!

bahahahah...such is life.

But just for the record...

The BMI scale is still stupid.

Keep your chin up ladies!  It's Monday, there is a Hurricane headed my way, and I am feeling athletic.  All is right with the world.

kisses.

18 comments:

  1. Ok, where is this magical athletic BMI chart? :)

    Kisses back at you, Athletic you!

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  2. Thrilled for you. I SO get it. Glad there is some growing understanding in the world of charts and numbers.....

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  3. I loooooveeee this! My waist is 30" and my BMI is....not good. F that! I'm with you. Weight lifting, work-outing, kickboxing....EXEMPT FROM BMI! How can I get someone to say that to me????

    Yay Amy you so rock and you deserve the enormous head swell!

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  4. You are throwing a monkey wrench in an Effed up System... kudos to you! I thought i adored you before, but this makes me wanna kiss you on the mouth... but I won't do it, because I am pretty sure Heather can beat me up! Yay! Athletic Girl!

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  5. You kick butt! I always hate the "numbers game" unless it is in my favor. The scale or that dang measuring tape is always a dirty rotten whore, unless they show me what I really want to see.
    So the question is, what do you spend money on that you get for being healthy?

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  6. Yay for athletic!! And double yay for "you don't need to lose weight." OH!!! How I long for that day!

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  7. After reading this I had to run and get my measuring tape. I'm officially NOT athletic. 35"! Crap.
    Well, I'm so happy for you because I agree...BMI is a terrible measure, and you rock!

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  8. Way to go Athletic!!! :))

    http://christysvsgjourney.blogspot.com

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  9. LOVE IT!! Tally up those points, Miss Athletic! Maybe you'll beat Heather! :)

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  10. Hey, I've heard that you're athletic?

    WOOT! Love the fact that some companies are finally recognizing that BMI alone is bogus!

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  11. I realize we don't know each other really, but sometimes I feel myself in your blog posts. This one in particular hits home. I have some weight to lose, but even if I lost every bit, I could never be "normal" according to BMI.

    This gives me hope and I'm not even joking when I tell you I have a bit of a tear in my eye. Thanks for sharing!!

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  12. HAha. Awesome... Miss Athletic! :)

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  13. I work for a company that also has a “wellness incentive program”, and have often wondered how they can get away with this, because to me, it is sugar coated discrimination, (maybe cause I have never qualified) and the beginning of your post was proving my point but seeing the update to the rules, I will definitely look more into ours, WTG Miss Athletic!! soo whatch gonna buy? lol

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  14. Way to go, Miss Athletic. I mean, you can climb ropes and all, that should automatically have qualified you for the $$.

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