Numbers Are Stupid...Unless They Are In Your Favor

The organization that both Heather and I work for have decided to adopt a "healthy lives" initiative.  If you carry our insurance, you can sign up for the program and you will NOT have to pay an extra $90 per month on your insurance (double that if your spouse in on your plan).   You have to go through a health screening of course, where they take your blood, check your cholesterol, blood pressure, etc...and of course....YOUR BMI.

If you have good levels you earn points. You can earn 350 points a year and redeem them for $350 dollars. 

Good blood pressure? 25 points
Non-smoker? 50 points
Working out/logging your exercise?  points
"Normal" BMI?  100 points

(we will return to that in a second).

Now my girlfriend of course will earn all her points right off the bat.  In fact, she went around looking like this:

And saying this: "That's right bitches.  Cha-ching.  It's about time this paid off"...for about 3 days.

Unlike me...who for three days before my screening walked around like this:

Saying: "Are you f%$king kidding me?!  BMI?  That's bullshit.  I am a weight lifter!  I am a body builder!  I can out run and outlift any of those skinny bitches in walking around here.  Put us on a treadmill!  Take me and have my body mass/bodyfat/muscle analzyed....I dare you!!!!"

Oh it was good.  In fact, those of you on my facebook probably saw me ranting about BMI.  I was fit to be tied.  I was hot. 

So I went into my screening and was all ready to tell my little health screener a thing or two about BMI and how far I have come.  I am 5'4".  The "normal" range for my BMI would be 110-140 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!  Say whaaat?  I mean, this is no news to me...but if you are linking my health to money...well game on.

So they took my blood.  They took my weight.  They measured my waist.

My precious little screener said "Your BMI is 31.9 and..."

I interrupted with "I KNOW.  I'm OBESE".

She said, "well, it doesn't matter, because your waist is 33"...which means according to this chart you are ATHLETIC and therefore exempt from BMI and don't need to lose any weight".

Excuse me?  Please repeat.

ATHLETIC she said again..

Oh...you can only imagine.  I think I may have blacked out from head swell.  I strode on out of that little booth and walked to find my girlfriend.

She was waiting for me.  She had discovered earlier that this was a possibility.

I said...Well I have no idea.  But I kept repeating saying things like: How's the weather.  I'm athletic.  I answered my work phone:  Athletic speaking, how may I help you?

I was unbearable.

I did realize though how funny it was that I was so set on how a number can't determine your health or fitness...

until a number worked out in my favor!

bahahahah...such is life.

But just for the record...

The BMI scale is still stupid.

Keep your chin up ladies!  It's Monday, there is a Hurricane headed my way, and I am feeling athletic.  All is right with the world.

kisses.